I believe in being grateful. As such Thanksgiving Day is a special time for me and I always seek to enjoy it with family and friends. My children are possessive with their parents so with them we consume not only turkey but our whole day. Friends come before and after.
There is much to be grateful for but often times we try to forget those tough lessons that make us better. So this season I'm grateful for some of the "bad" things that have blessed my life.
Being born poor in the West Side of San Antonio. In my poverty I met some rather wonderful people who taught me how to value life. I learned about religion, charity, service, hard work and commitment from those who truly believed in those things and not because they were going to benefit from them in this life.
For my incredible inferiority complex. It has forced me to work harder, to empathize with those who doubt themselves and are born on the wrong side of the tracks. It has kept me from being coopted by glitz of the world, and away from bad company.
For my spiritual doubts. They have brought me highs and lows but they remind me that life is complicated, that God is there always but we have to look for him, that things are not as simple as they seem, and that no one has a monopoly on spirituality--this was especially important when Iserved as bishop of congregation.
For a particular group of lesbian/feminsts who misinterpreted something I said and have engaged on a continual attack on me in articles, conference presentations and book chapters for the last 15 years. They taught me to be more precise in my scholarship, to respect those who vehemently disagree with me, and that while life is not fair, I must always play fair lest I do something to someone that they have done to me.
For the rejection of my second scholarly book by the University of Wisconsin Press. I redoubled my efforts and found a press that did a better job of promoting it than the one in Madison. It also reminded me how lucky I am to be a scholar and to publish material that finds respect in some quarters.
For having some misguided students while I headed the university's Washington Seminar Internship program. They taught me that sometimes things are going bad when you think they're going good, and that there will be times when we will love those we instruct, pray for them, and spend sleepless nights worrying about them and they will still think we don't care about them. They shook my faith in young people and then helped me regain it when a number of them apologized later and others came to my defense.
For bad BYU football seasons because they reminded me that sports are not that important and obsession over them usually takes a university where it shouldn't go. But also because it gave me some wonderful moments with my grandchildren who loved going but were sometimes anxious to leave after the first quarter of a closely contested game. They taught me priorities.
For BYU women's volleyball teams in the early years because they were not very good but the young women lived their principles by telling the referee that they had touched the ball as it went out, thus losing the game. It reminded me that integrity has more meaning when it actually hurts to live it.
For some young colleagues who thought I was a real "jerk" for being a tough rank and status committee chair. They forced me to stand my ground and defend that part of the academic process that is good. Yet, they also made me sensitive to its unfair parts and more committed to mentoring young scholars. Because of the decisions I made we now have a tougher but fairer system in our department. Of course, a new batch of young scholars probably think I'm still a jerk.
For independent children. They have made me doubt myself and caused me countless sleepless nights in which I've drenched my pillow with my tears. Yet, I love their passion. They've made me understand that all of us have our own lives, that we pay for our own mistakes, and that things can still be all right. They have also allowed me to smirk when I see them struggle with their own kids.
For this blog. It shows how little I actually have to say and "puts me in my place".
For growing old. It forces me to seek maturity, to choose goals more carefully and yet frees me from long-term entanglements. It also allows me to "fake it" when the younger runners pass me by.
Finally, for every trial and tribulation yet to come this year. They won't be nice but they'll have their intended consequences and I'll be much better for them.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
